Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I need a Music Therapist! I need a music mentor!

One child asleep, one on a playdate. So what to do? I can either practice my songs, which I want to do, or I can write this & figure out for what purpose I'm practicing. Of course I could also go & do any of the other million things moms get to do, like cleaning house, organizing papers, doing scrapbooks & photo albums. So do I need someone to encourage me, to tell me that there are things I can do with it & there's reasons I should, to tell me I really am good & I'm not just someone pretending to be good, not just in this role, but so many others? Do I need someone to tell me that just take it one day at a time & there's no rush to do anything. I get afraid that I'll die without having recorded, written, sung, performed what I need to--if I can at least have a decent recording, update my kids' journals, finish their scrapbooks & baby books, then I'll feel like I at least am not leaving something that someone else can't do for me. I think practicing's going to win out for now. But I'll post this anyway & then maybe come back to it. I need a music therapist--maybe I'll call them music mentors that I need, people who love music, who perform it to be good & not just because they have talents in it & enjoy it, who understand that everyone has different abilities & purposes in music (we're all not concert musicians nor private teachers), who understand that music is at once extraneous & at the same time vital, lifegiving, & necessary, who understand that sometimes music is a calling, spiritual in nature, but who understand that there are so many other roles & responsibilities--much more important ones like mother & wife & friend, that music needs to be fit just in the right way around so it doesn't overtake those roles & responsibilities.