So I've got a half hour until I have to get my kids from preschool, and what do I do, with a house that needs dusting & clothes that need washing and folding? I sit down and write about music. I just did a fireside Sunday. Of course last year we did Savior of the World, which was an incredible experience--it was a learning experience, and it felt so good to be able to lead something like that, be involved in steering the vision, and have it come off so well. During that process, I really wasn't thinking a lot about doing my own music, since I was so involved in getting done what we needed to do with what was already there that someone had written, performed, recorded, and that others had been involved in. But the day after we SOTW, I felt a profound sense of yearning, for suddenly I let myself be cognizant of the fact that that was exactly what I wanted to do with music. I wanted to write it, to put it together with narration, add some art that just heightens the message, and orchestrate it, all so others could participate also and we could share the message with many. Well, all year I'd thought we'd just do Savior again, possibly with wider participation from other wards or the stake--after all, with a scaled-down version of it, it doesn't take a ton to put together. Then in January I finally decided to move forward on it, talking to others who had been involved, and didn't feel the "we absolutely need to do this" feeling, in myself and from others. Two days after initially really starting to go forward, I just felt, no, Savior needed to wait, and then out of the blue, I knew I needed to do an Easter fireside (what I called it then) about the Savior, with narration and slides. I don't get strong inspiration like that very often with my own music, so when it comes, I really take note, but it was a very, very strong feeling that this was what I needed to do. But there was still some sentiment about SOTW, especially how it can involve so many, so I thought maybe we could do both. Well, it was a few weeks later, after trying to convince myself that I could do both, then realizing I couldn't, letting others know, and then wondering how I was going to get others to participate in something that was completely in my head, that I decided to go forward. It wasn't an easy process at first. There were a couple of times I just thought, no, I'll do it all myself, with no choir help, because it's just easier to not have to ask others to be involved and feel like I'm taking their time for something that is mine, that I want to do--but because I'd kind of asked to do this as a ward thing, I felt I needed to involve others, not just in narrating, but musically as well. A couple of times I just thought about cancelling, or just doing it privately, but David didn't want me to seem fickle (a good thing), and when I said that was what I'd do, for a whole day I'd feel so agitated, that I finally just said, all right, I'll do it. The only problem was we had our spring break trip to Arizona in there, then general conference, then Easter, and others' spring breaks in there as well, making me feel like I just couldn't practice. It was scary thinking that really there might only be 2 weeks left to practice, and wondering how I was going to ask so much of so many, but I had to go forward. Not until 2 weeks before did I feel comfortable practicing, mainly because, not being choir director, I felt I couldn't ask more time from people, and didn't want to intrude on choir's time and the director's need to practice. I was having a hard time knowing if I was going to have enough people participate in key areas, and spent a lot of day being stressed over not knowing if I was going to have who I needed. Add to that the fact that I got a major bronchial infection the end of March while in Arizona that I still haven't quite gotten over--my voice is still pretty weak--and then got another head cold the week before, as well as my husband and sister getting sick also. But 2 weeks before, we started to practice with a few people. Actually 2 weeks before, I still wasn't sure who was going to do several songs, as I was showering, I had the thought that the men, who are really incredible in our ward, could sing the opening, "Savior, Redeemer." I went home and changed the music to men's voices from women's--it took a couple of practices to really get it finalized--but that afternoon they sang it for the first time, and I knew I had the right combination, especially a 9 days later when we finally had everyone, including a high tenor, that just blended so well. Then that Wednesday I had to sing a musical number for Relief Society at the Life Care Center, a nursing home near us, and decided to sing my version of "How Great Thou Art." Doing that with my weak voice I realized I definitely did need to involve others, and just started the next day to come up with some duets for the 1st 3 verses, the a full choir version for the 4th. And there, it just came. During this entire process, I had an idea for a song--I've always loved the idea of Christ being our shepherd, but also being our Lamb, the Lamb of God, both leading & caring for us, then bearing for & saving us. As such, I came up with a new song, My Shepherd, My Savior, Lamb of God, then a few weeks later, as I was trying to solidify the melody, realized that a particular melody went perfectly with the Lord Is My Shepherd, which I eventually did as a men's descant on the 4th verse. Then I had a decision to make--I had an arrangement of Lead, Kindly Light, and one of my songs, I Will Be Your Light, and had to choose between one of them. I had put 1 verse of I Will Be Your Light together with The Lord Is My Light in the past. So one day, I thought, you know, I can put all of these together, and Light of the World was born, combining all three songs, parts of all 3 verses and choruses of each. I didn't know who I was going to get to sing it, but starting 2 weeks earlier, I started practicing with a group of women in our choir who supported this so well--in fact, a few weeks earlier, I had introduced it to one of them, and every time I wanted to give up on a big group doing it, she said, no, I love this and I've practiced this, so we are doing it--I'm grateful for people who support me & steer me in the right direction, even when I want to give up. That was neat to see how much time they sacrificed to make that successful--and it was successful. It was so neat (and thanks heavens for my sister, Amy, who I can ask to do anything & she can & will do it, exceptionally!!!). I knew I had to do I Know That My Redeemer Lives, which combines the 2nd & 3rd verse, but also wanted to do Jesus, Once of Humble Birth, to tie it all together. As I was thinking about how to do it, I realized that I Stand All Amazed & the Lord Is My Shepherd go so well with the melody, that the last verse ended up as a combination of all 3 in a glorious finish (and I didn't even have to feel I was stealing it from SOTW, it was so different--it ends that gloriously as well). More later--I've got to get my kids.